Do not fly with me.  Ever.

At first, it may seem harmless, as the flight boards and takes off early.  We may even soar through the skies uneventfully for the first few hours.

However, the plane may be diverted due to a thunderstorm in Dallas, and then it will land in Oklahoma City and sit on the runway for nearly 4 hours.  (Yes, I know the FDA requires deboarding after 3 hours, but who wants to get off when there are no connecting flights to your destination?)

Eventually, we will be cleared for landing in Dallas, so the plane will take off again and an hour later arrive.

At this point, the last connecting flight left hours ago, and it is too late to route through Atlanta or Detroit because it will be too late to connect there either.

"The 8:45 AM flight has seats available."

That translates into 14 hours overnight at the Dallas airport unless I want to catch a cab and find a hotel.

Next option?

I check all the flights into neighboring cities: Nashville, Indianapolis, St. Louis.  St. Louis has a seat for me, so St. Louis it is.

Of course this flight is delayed another hour, but eventually it does take off.

Upon landing I find the rental car agency at 10:30 PM.  I do not get the deal of the century on a rental car, but now I no longer care.  I started this trek 13 1/2 hours ago.

Then I drive into the night for nearly 3 hours.  I have never been so happy to see my sister's house.

Thus a 7 hour flight plan translates into 16.5 hours.

So.  Do not fly with me.  Ever.