Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The ocean

Welcomed by the cool ocean breezes of winter, Chayse and Jagur embraced Christmas Day.



Jagur was enchanted by the world below the ocean that the low tides revealed.



Overlooking the craggy Pacific coast, the cousins paused with grandma and grandpa.



Then we ventured to Ano Nuevo where the elephant seals are arriving to deliver their babies.



The bulls lounged amidst the sand dunes waiting to claim their harem.



Soon this 2 1/2 tons will be battling fiercely.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Christmas Eve

brought forth the shepherds...



and cousins...



and brightly colored packages...



and irresistible smiles...


and hugs...in warm fuzzy new jammies...



and stockings hung by the fire.



*Disclaimer for Auntie Kristi...Jaela had to be convinced that her new jammies were her size (and age)...and now she doesn't want to take them off! She wants to wear her fuzzy, footed, warm jammies everywhere, but her mean ol' mommy won't let her!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

O Christmas cold! O Christmas cold!
Thy cough is so annoying!

O Christmas cold! O Christmas cold!
Much misery thou givest me!

O Christmas cold! O Christmas cold!
My nose doth shine so brightly!

O Christmas cold! O Christmas cold!
How fully thou hast decked me...

Out for the count!

Monday, December 12, 2011

First Piano Recital

After weeks of practicing Jingle Bells, Jolly Old Saint Nicholas, Good King Wenceslas, and Baby Owl, recital night finally arrived.



A sparkling princess was ready to go!



Tapping toes wait!



A grand performance!


*******************************************

Cruising home the radio blared country music, as we laughed and talked.

Then Kade started, "Red solo cup!"

Dad chimed in, "Red solo cup!"

And the six year old didn't miss a beat with the next line, "I fill you up."

Suddenly the Klinghagen 5 broke into full song--compliments of Toby Keith. No need for radio now, as the suburban rolled and rollicked down the streets of the upscale neighborhood. One should never let Montanans at heart move into the neighborhood.

Rednecks anyway.

Disclaimer: This is not my song of choice, and frankly I was not impressed when I first heard the strains come across the sole country radio station in the bay area. You must seek it out for yourself...if you must...but you have been warned!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Chapped lips

Dryness quickly splits and cracks the skin on the lips resulting in a constant burning sensation.

Thus my son came to me several days ago just before bedtime, wondering if there was any chapstick in the house.

Chuckling, I told him that he needed his grandpa who always has chapstick handy.

With a little digging, we found some chapstick, and he generously applied it before snuggling into bed.

The next morning he proclaimed chapstick is magic because he was healed. (Funny how the generations can be so much alike!)

Then he continued, "Mom, we need to buy lots of chapstick for the homeless."

He had been thinking about this as a boy scout, but until this moment he couldn't think of what he wanted to contribute, as the list didn't intrigue him too much. However, he was adamant chapstick is essential for the homeless, and not just any lip balm will do, he wanted "Grandpa's ChapStick."

Piled high on my counter is "Grandpa's ChapStick." It makes me smile every time I walk by, but today my boy scout will take it away.

A simple, thoughtful gift.

Everything the season is supposed to be about.

Thank you, my son, for the reminder.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Winter Rose


Dear Karen,

I have been waiting patiently for my winter rose to emerge. After months of not blooming, the single white rose appeared yesterday on my rose tree.

A year ago today the loss of you was tugging hard at my heart, and the winter rose surprised me. It's unexpected appearance made me smile. Like the day you paused briefly in my classroom doorway when I was a new teacher and waved and smiled--how did you know I needed those unspoken words of encouragement? And those twinkling eyes that would foreshadow your playful mood when you would tease the kids...and me...and your delightful laugh that followed--the memory still makes my heart smile.

Sometimes, though, I wish I could hear you laugh just once more.

By the way, before I forget again, I want to tell you I found the missing girl scout key. Remember the one you asked me about, and I assured you it was in the box? Well, it surfaced in Pittsburgh just before we moved...just a few months after your funeral. I wanted to call you and tell you. Well, actualy I did, but I got your voice on the answering machine and remembered...

So now I carry the little key on the green keychain with me. It is tucked safely into a pocket in my purse (I swear i can hear you chuckle now at my story). It is a silly memento, I know. A key I lost. A key I found after you were gone.

Life is funny like that. Unexpected. Happy. Sad. Complicated. It is the reason I hug your memory tight.

Before I go, I want to tell you that I studied the curriculum for that Masters in Creative Writing last night. I don't know if I should just write or studying a bit more, but I do know your quiet words of encouragement for my writing planted the seeds that are slowly emerging.

I do know I love to write. In your memory, I will embrace the words and uncertainty and take a chance because you showed me that life is meant to be lived.

Love,
Lori

PS. As I signed my name, the strains of Randy Travis' song, "Three Wooden Crosses" filled the airwaves--"I guess it's not what you take when you leave this world behind you, It's what you leave behind you when you go."

Monday, December 5, 2011

Behind the Scenes

My impatient decorators were up on Saturday morning ready for Christmas decorating. Of course, decorating means storage boxes which are safely tucked above the garage (since there are no basements here).



A little stacking didn't quite do the trick, but have no fear as the drama queen seeks a solution...



with help from her assistant sporting red high heels in her elegant flannel gown!



When in doubt, just stack higher!

Without the photo documentary, mom would have never been the wiser. Thankfully, I wasn't...until everyone was safe and sound on the ground again.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Fairytale



Garland...my first Christmas touch. I love it.

Twinkling lights accentuated by golden pine cones and glittery poinsettias piques my imagination, and I find myself dreaming of twinkling eyes tumbling through my door on Christmas eve.

I am dreaming of a fairytale Christmas for the kids...and the kids at heart!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Little Things

"What's for supper?"

The infamous question I ask myself every day. Then I hear it.

Last night the answer was chili.

I could see the polite hesitation in my son's eyes before he inquired, "Your recipe or a new one?"

"Mine."

I was rewarded with a grin.

"I love your chili, mom!"

My turn to grin.

Later, as the chili simmered I was assured it smelled wonderful.

Full bowls were emptied quickly.

Then my junior high son told me, "Your chili is my favorite, mom." But the best part? The quick hug he gave and me, and a glimpse of that boyish twinkle in his eyes.

**********************

I worry...about many things when it comes to my kids, including repetitive meals, so I try to shake it up once in a while.

"No need to worry, mom!"

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Burns Road

Dee Burns was laid to rest Monday.

Thirteen years ago we moved into his "neighborhood" in rural Montana. He lived up the hills from us. He was 72 years old then. He drove a battered orange Chevy truck. He lived on the small ranch where he was born. He served in WWII. He came home and never left again. He never married.

Genuine blue eyes were set in his weathered face. His kind, steady gaze made me feel like he was listening with his heart...and always polite.

He never came into my home instead leaning his lanky frame against his truck more comfortable in the elements of Montana. He conserved water--and like a boy I know, conserved more water than I thought necessary :)

That first Christmas in our new location he invited us to come up and cut our Christmas tree. He persisted. What he didn't know is we had never had a "real" Christmas tree. We didn't even own decorations.

But obviously, he had fond memories of Christmas because he wanted to make sure our little girls had a Christmas tree. He had a soft spot for children, as I would watch a gentleness seep into those beautiful eyes as he watched them play.

We accepted his invitation--probably more out of politeness because I didn't even know how we would decorate it.

I remember piling into the truck and driving up that old dirt road (his namesake) bouncing around--much to the delight of the girls. A skiff of snow covered the ground. Dee had already picked out a couple fine trees and instructed us where to go.

The raw beauty of the Montana landscape stirs my heart at the memory of that day. The wind nipped at our cheeks as Ron asked me, "Which one?" I remember studying the trees closely, having no idea what I really wanted, but my husband knew which one he wanted. When he was a boy he would help his mother decorate. She loved Christmas. It still is her favorite holiday.

I remember standing looking out over the landscape amidst the jutting pines and crisp white snow, listening as my husband pulled the saw back and forth. Montana can really put human significance in perspective at the top of the hill.

Then I began gathering pine cones with creative visions of potential ornaments.

After loading the tree, I was grateful to crawl back into the warmth of the truck cab. Bouncing back down the the hill, we paused at Dee's homestead where he was waiting to greet us and admire the tree. Grinning proudly, he waved as we pulled away.

That little tree filled our living room windows. The scent of fresh pine filled the house, as Ron taught me how to string the lights.

I can still visualize that first humble tree twinkling in our home and the glittering pine cones.

I don't know if Dee ever realized it was our first tree.

But...

I do know Dee loved my ham and bean soup.

I do know where Dee's mother's recipe for dandelion wine is.

I do know that Dee was kind to our family.

I do know when we decorate our Christmas tree so far away in California, we will reminisce fondly about Dee.

Wrapped in the warmth of human kindness, we embraced our first Christmas tree as a family, and for us, a family story and tradition evolved.

Pretty



Giggling.

Chattering.

Shrieking.

Three friends eventually emerged dressed and ready for the Homecoming Dance. Chayse had waited patiently on the stairs to see the "pretty" dresses.

Though they didn't leave me much time for driving, we managed to arrive with 11 minutes to spare.

A few hours later I returned, and three happy girls clamored aboard, and the excitement of the evening poured out. Ron and I smiled and teasingly interjected from time to time.

Fun memories. Pretty girls. Sweet dreams.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

As I swiftly strode through the parking lot, I stepped obliviously onto the drain grate when something caught my eye. I slowed. A closer glance identified a couple leaves jutting through the grate. I stopped on the middle of the grate and looked down into the deep hole. From out of the depths of darkness, I could discern a vine with healthy pink blossoms crawling up the wall towards the sun light.

In the darkness, life was reaching for the sun.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Insight

Kiahra loves to read historical fiction. Actually, she just loves to read.

However, when I was teaching her to hand sew she commented, "Now I understand why needle work was portrayed as drudgery for so many girls in books."

Evidently, the rap that needle work gets historically really isn't that ancient. Youth has little patience for stitching.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Into the darkness



My view into the Empire Mine shaft...



as I sat on the man skip. Aaaaahhhhhh...into the darkness at 600 feet per minute.

Finally, Fred and I had the opportunity to visit Empire Mine together. The place where he spent his childhood...and then the place that made him a miner at 19 years of age.

My imagination swirled the entire day. It was delightful.

On the way home, we paused in Old Sacramento to visit the Delta King. The refurbished riverboat that ran up and down the Sacramento river to San Francisco from 1927 to 1940.

The boat would chug into the night as the gamblers gathered around and the music played late into the night. But in 1928, a 12 year old boy stood on the deck wondering what life in Chinatown would be like. He didn't have memory of his life there with his family in his early years.

The reflection of the moon rippled on the water as he gazed into the night. His aunt had booked passage on the riverboat--a special treat for a little lady that lived next to the roaring stamp mill.

Perhaps the boat drifting down the river was balm for the changes they would both embrace as they parted ways.



Fred and I paused on the deck of the Delta King together at sunset. We dined on calamari and crab appetizers. I suspect he did not dine so extravagantly on his first trip so many years ago.

I hope I can make the history I experienced in my heart yesterday come alive in my story.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

The first two chords hit the radio, and immediately I turned up the volume.

"I like my chicken fried...a pair of jeans that fit just right and the radio up."

As the lyrics blared across the speakers, I could just see my little boy jammin' to his favorite song a few years ago. He was several inches shorter then. His boyish face was fuller, eyes twinkling, as he boomed out the lyrics straight from the heart, grinning from ear to ear.

The Zac Brown Band had a faithful follower, and he always turned the radio up for them.

I wish I could tell that little boy to turn down the radio...just one more time.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Haha-ha

"The more you laugh, the longer you live," Kade proclaimed at the dinner table.

We pondered this in conversation.

"Can I make him cry then?" questioned Kiahra.

Old Mission



On a hill in San Juan Bautista, the old mission overlooks the valley. The 15th mission was established in 1797 along the El Camino Real (The Royal Road). Twenty one missions were established along the route from San Diego to Sonoma.



The sprawling grounds enticed me. I want to return for a full tour.



The chickens wandered the mission, the streets and sidewalks with the rooster strutting behind.



How did we stumble upon the mission? Kiahra and Kade participated in the Make It Yourself With Wool contest.

Friday, November 4, 2011

My Little Girl

She was the star of the classroom this week.

On Monday night, as she filled out her star poster I watched.

When_________________________grows up ______________wants to be a _______________________.

As she inserted her name and pronoun without hesitation, I waited.

Then I asked, "What do you want to be?"

I was worried, as she was already writing. Her big eyes looked up at me, her head tilted, and with a confident shrug, she answered, "A mom just like you."

My heart melted...completely.

Then I tried to talk her into choosing an occupation. I was worried that our culture would look down on her choice, as one can be a mother...and__________________________.

I know I said this, but it has been nagging me because I am not sure I did the right thing.

I hope I didn't damage her sweet perspective. I hope that she survives my good intentions, as I really did not want her to be taunted at school. I hope she is a mom who stays home just like me...if she wants to be.

I hope one of these days I too can say with confidence, "I am a stay-at-home mother." No explanations. No justification. And know that it works for our family...with the same pride my little girl has in me.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Aftermath

The morning after Halloween usually means sifting through the candy bowl for breakfast...and maybe in even toss in a few freshly roasted pumpkin seeds for good measure.

Then with a cup of tea, I pause to reflect.

Pumpkin carving has been a long tradition at our house. Like so many things in my world, it too has evolved with the age of our children.



Kade scopes out the situation, as the little sister in the background reluctantly pulls the slimy seeds from her pumpkin--feigning distaste that is difficult to believe from a little girl who plays with bugs.



Notice the power tool. Boys lack patience on occasion and have this crazy theory that a tool will make it better.



The results were genuinely "Goofy."



A traditional hand carved greeting suits this perfect pumpkin!



Minnie Mouse emerges to delight little girls!



Then on to the grim reaper--meticulously designed and carved all by herself!



May we rest in peace...until next year!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Time is Fleeting

Two hour professional driving lesson is complete, so Nikela's permit is officially activated.

15 minutes later she is headed to the mall with her father...expecting to drive.

I kissed Ron good-bye.

"You can start on my obituary..." he quipped as he walked down the sidewalk.

*************************************

Earlier we were standing in line behind a woman with a baby.

"Wow, where do the years do?" Ron commented as he watched the little bug snuggle into his mother's shoulder.

"Yeah...our baby is at her driving lesson," I murmured apprehensively.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Pippi



Meet Pippi Longstocking. Isn't she darling? Her distinct sense of fashion stood out amongst the princesses, but the clever girl can hold her own!

The costume box creates all kinds of fun at my house. Though I suspect it is the bane of Chayse's existence because we don't leave the house to shop for costumes anymore. (Sigh...the neglected youngest child)

Footnote: The first grade held their Halloween party today because there is no school on Monday.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Ribbons and Bows

As I painstakingly stitched the pretty satin pink shoes, I remember my mother.

I remember her because I realize that my daughter will not understand for many years the love with which I was sewing...that the tenderness in my fingers carried to my heart.

I know because my mother lovingly stitched dresses just for me. As a little girl, I loved the beautiful dresses that that made me feel like a princess.

Only years later, would I really appreciate the hum of the sewing machine late into the night, but as a little girl, I would drift off to the comforting hum, dreaming of my new dress. The hours and hours that it took to create the masterpiece is understood now. A labor of love.

My mother sews beautifully. She is an artist with fabric and thread. I loved exploring the fabric stores with her because she would take a piece of fabric I hadn't even noticed and transform it into something amazing. I learned to embrace my creativity by watching her.

Sewing is hard work. My mother patiently taught me to sew. She guided me and challenged me, as I uncovered the art of sewing. A gift that I will always have because I can sew well. Though I cannot tailor the fit like she can, but I am practicing.

The aforementioned ballet shoes require satin ribbons and elastic to be hand-stitched to withstand intense use without fraying and falling off. Of course, I had to experience a few failures and ask myself what mom would do before I discovered the best pattern for my stitches.

Affectionately, I tell Kiahra I am going to teach her "grandma's way".

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Shaking It Up

8:16 PM. October 20, 2011.

Ron stopped listening to me abruptly, and I could see his eyes darting. Then I heard the rumble. Ron felt the earth shaking.

The earthquake originated on the Hayward Fault near Berkley, CA across the bay from us.

It was the second significant quake (3.8--the first was 4.0) at that location today. Very unusual.

Every 150 years there is a big quake on the Hayward fault. It has been 143 years.

Perhaps it is time for me to complete our earthquake kit. The news crews and geologists are reiterating the importance of preparedness. The words are not "if" but "when."

The irony of the day...it was the great California Shakeout Drill today. Schools across the state participated in earthquake drills.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Pumpkins



Pumpkins are fall. Pumpkins are Halloween. Pumpkins are pumpkin bars (yummmm!).

Pumpkins are tradition.

A few years ago, our annual trek to the pumpkin patch began. Bundled toddlers climbed into the wagon and down the dirt road we went to the wondrous world of orange orbs. The crisp Montana air meant rosy red cheeks and noses.

The years slipped by and soon we discovered that fall in Pittsburgh is warm and picturesque as we clamored aboard the hay ride on our way to the pumpkin patch.

Now, in the coastal fog of pumpkin country the kids have definite ideas about what they are looking for in a good carving pumpkin. It is serious business...except for our littlest bug where bigger is better.

Like the vibrant changes in the leaves in the fall, my kids are emerging into their own colors.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Across the Waters


The Angel Island Immigration Station was established to help enforce the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882. Nestled in North San Francisco Bay, it operated from 1910 to 1940.



After arriving at the Immigration Station, I stood where the wharf once stood and gazed out at the bay. After weeks of sailing, the immigrants poured off the ship onto land. Finally feeling the solid earth beneath their feet, the imposing buildings of the immigration station greeted them, as well as the officers whose job it was to screen the Chinese immigrants.

My heart fluttered as I thought about the little Asian lady whose first stop was here where she would wait, hoping to join the husband she had married months earlier in China.

Alone she walked down the plank. Alone she faced interrogation in a foreign language. Alone she gazed out across the bay probably not even aware that she could not even see the distant shores of her new home, San Francisco.

The administration office would have been her first stop. Afterwards, she would have climbed the steep stairs to the barracks carrying all her belongings in a small suitcase.

Fred and I too began our walk at the wharf, though the adminstration building burned to the ground in 1940, so we saw the foudation footings that were creatively replaced by the park.



The tour began here, and then we walked to the immigration station barraks (in the background) where the immigrants stayed. A daunting flight of stairs greeted us. Fred could not climb that many steep stairs, so I asked about handicap accessibility. There was a wheel chair ramp that zigzaged up the hillside, but there was no wheelchair to borrow and the path was too long in its design to be accessible either.

Fred stood at the bottom of the stairs unable to to take the tour. Ironically, one hundred years ago his mother climbed those stairs...unable to join her husband in San Francisco. I wanted to cry.



Sleeping quarters.



Interrogation room.



Meticulously carved poetry on the walls. Words of hope. Words of despair. Words painted over by the army during WWII.

As Fred and I sat in the warm sun waiting for our ferry to take us home, a gracious Chinese lady introduced herself to Fred and me. Immediately she expressed her acute disappointment that Fred had not been able to take the tour. She understood the significance of our trip, as she too was exploring the Chinese history in San Francisco on her visit to the city.

Her visit had revealed new history to her about her family, information that made her face glow in utter delight.

The respect she had for Fred brought a warm smile to his face. I love the respect the Chinese have for their elders.

She shared that never knew her grandparents. Nor did Fred.

Soon I could hear them sharing the locations of their villages in China. I smiled.

Fred was delighted to meet her. He chatted readily. His eyes twinkled. His heart opened.

When we boarded the ship back, he chose to sit with our new friend and the banter never ceased.

Though Fred was not able to tour the barracks, I know the moments he shared with his new friend more valuable to him. Though strangers on one level, an unknown history bound them. The emotion welled in my heart as I listened to their connection of the heart.

As Fred's mother stood on the dock that day I wonder what she thought. I wonder if she ever imagined that 100 years later her son would stand there, an old man, and meet a new friend...another woman who ventured to America with her family as a little girl. I wonder if her heart was squeezed as tightly as mine--flooded with the emotions of dreams, fear, hope, rejection that I could still hear in the voices today.

I can almost feel the courage Fred's mother found in a her heart to face the challenges before her...and with the positive energy her son so fondly remembers.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Tunnels

Digging is a slow process that requires perseverance.



Tunneling increases the challenge, but creating a tunnel brings utter delight!



Tunnels pique the imagination.



Now for a little r & r.



The water table is high, and the engineer studies the problem...see his reflection?



And I wonder...if my son will follow in his father's footsteps and create tunnels too?

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Sandy Fun



A green pail and matching green fingernails make sand castles stylish business.



Castles tumbled down as a friendly football game ensued.



At each launch, someone was ready.



It was serious business.



For everyone.

In the background, roaring waves crashed to the shore and swooping pelicans dove in and out of the ocean.