Ballerina Mom

Visions of sugarplums and beautiful pink tutus fill my head when I think of a ballerina before Christmas time. I can hear the Nutcracker music and see the sparkling costumes.

However, despite my girlhood visions of a ballerina, when Mom follows Ballerina...it is vastly different.

On Black Friday, after we had dropped Ron and Nikela off at the airport, we headed off with coupon in hand to Dancer's Pointe. A delightful little dance store in the heart of Pittsburgh where the artists with the Pittsburgh Ballet are outfitted. The key here is the heart...meaning I will have the "opportunity" to navigate the traffic and narrow downtown streets in my Yukon.

However, I forgot to grab the address to program into my GPS since I would be coming from the airport instead of the house, but never fear, my sister Kristi was near via cell phone and with a quick google produced the necessary information. Arriving without further ado, we poured in the door of the quiet little store. Of course, the lady glared at the mere presence of my four children.

Shrugging it off, I smilingly inquired about new slippers and pointe shoes. I positioned everyone accordingly...Ethan--"In the vacant chair"...Chayse--"In the next chair"...Kade--"Beside me." Pointedly, the lady stated Kiahra would need to sit in a chair. Adapting, I asked Chayse to sit criss-cross applesauce on the floor nearby.

Then the fun began. Pointe shoes are an art that starts with fitting. Kiahra has a beautiful wide foot...that is very challenging to fit; however, we moved up to the more expensive models. Generally, I don't need the Cadillac to get to my destination, but in pointe shoes I buy into the theory because pointe shoes can permanently damage a child's feet if they are improperly fitted or improperly trained in them, so this is serious stuff for a mom.

As I watched the lady fit Kiahra, I relaxed a bit, as it is obvious she knows what she is doing. We have fitted three pairs previously at this store, but each time someone new has helped us. The last fitting didn't go as well, and the shoes didn't fit properly.

As I listen, I hear words like Fouette Grishko, and realize that there are different makes and models of shoes...exactly like cars. As the dollar signs run through my head, I distract myself...and the only thing I can think is...thank goodness we aren't looking for cars...yet.

Anyway, Kiahra is more familiar with her needs, and her confidence is emerging as she tries on different shoes and makes her final selection. Then back to the slippers. We try on the canvas instead of the leather in hope that they will last longer. Kiahra had already worn a toe through her pair that I just purchased in August...where is the warranty on this stuff?

Then we needed new toe pads. This was as grueling as the shoe selection. Five pairs later, Kiahra selected a new style toe pad that looks like plastic, but is a soft gel. Thankfully, this feature was actually the cheapest. Though throughout the process, I was thinking about lambs wool from grandpa being an excellent option for my pocketbook, and I know that many professionals also use it. Plus, how sweet to think that Grandpa would select his finest fleece for his little ballerina...

Finally, the last item was for mom...a sewing kit, as all my sewing needles are officially curved from so many stitches through ballet shoes. Each pair of pointe shoes comes with beautiful uncut ribbons and elastic to be carefully cut and attached to create a customized fit for each dancer (The slippers require custom elastic also). Romantic...until I am holding the marking pen in hand and stretching the elastic across the foot at various angles determining the best fit. Not to mention finding the exact angle to attach the satin ribbons to the shoes so they look beautiful as Kiahra goes up on pointe. Inevitably, it will require more than one try...

My new sewing kit includes a wax coated thread that I haven't used before, but I can see that it will be strong and reduce the number of times I reattach elastic and ribbons from wear. I also know that it will increase resistance, as I pull the thread through my stitches. The needle is larger too, meaning it won't bend...finally, but I know it will be hard to pull through the shoes.

Once we are nestled in at home again, I settled into my chair with scissors and supplies in hand, and I beginning my sewing. My predictions were all accurate, but I comfort myself with the knowledge that I am not ruining another needle and theoretically, my stitches will last longer. Also, the needle is not as sharp on my thumb, but nonetheless, it required a hard surface to help me push it through, as even a thimble isn't sufficient sometimes. First pair of shoes down. My thumb is tender. Second pair...my stitches grow more slow as I wince at the increasingly tender spots in my fingers and thumb. I remind myself that the feet that fit these shoes endure discomfort beyond mine, so I persevere.

A big smile and quick hug are shared with me after the final fitting...I think I forgot to mention that each time I sew I require a fitting?

As I relax in my chair after a couple hours, I realize that mom means ensuring a perfect fit and the best price on black Friday. On the day Kiahra was born, I became Kiahra's mom, the woman behind the scenes with bloody fingers. Smiling when I watch my little girl lift the nutcracker high into the air as she twirls gracefully on pointe as little Clara. With tears in my eyes, I realize that my little girl who debuted as a sweet little grey mouse in the Nutcracker is now the main character, a dream that has been close to her heart since that day. She will take the stage in 12 days, and just thinking about her performance makes my heart tight. A rite of passage that is so bittersweet, as I love to watch her dance, but suddenly little Clara looks so big...