Pulsing Perspective

29:30. The elliptical is my friend. 29:10. Friend. 28:50. Straining my friendship.

Then it has the audacity to scroll a message to me. “Keep up the pace.” Sheesh! I just dropped .3 miles per hour to breathe! Fine. “Good Work.” Ugh. This friendship is tough. Slowly the calories burned accumulate…very slowly. Killer pace and in 10 minutes I can barely work off that one delightful Lindt chocolate. And I only ate one, really!

Finally, resignation sets in and I head into the “zone,” where I just find the mindset to keep moving and focus on something else. Ironically, it has been the food network lately. Yeah, I have picked up all kinds of cool tips…and some that I simply can’t use in my new calorie conscious lifestyle, but that doesn’t stop me from taking notes on Guy’s Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives…like that little Italian bar in Pittsburgh with amazing Italian food. I have been dreaming about it for months, and today I decide that we should visit it on New Year’s Eve day. Never mind that the 400 cals I am burning will disappear before my meal even arrives!!

Now indulge my digression, please, as I head into the final "zone". My sweet little sister was chatting with me the other day when she was snowed in…until the phone went dead. In that conversation she commented that she couldn’t believe that mom and dad had a child who would be forty this year. Every quill in my sweet disposition bristled. First, I just turned 39 this year. Secondly, it isn’t next year yet. Give me a few more days. Thirdly, I still have seven more months to enjoy my thirties. Don’t hurry me. I want to savor this.

Finally, my grueling meeting with my “friend” ends. Exhausted and dripping sweat, I climb the stairs where Chayse greets me, “Mom, you need a shower.” Nothing like an honest four-year old.

Now after my conversation with my sister, Kiahra announced that it was my turn to register on the new Wii Fit. Reluctantly, I complied. I stood dutifully on the balance board and attempted to navigate their crazy requests. Initially, it informs me that my BMI is 23.something. Then it tells me that 22 is perfect. I celebrate. I am close! Yaahhhh…even though I am not entirely sure what it even stands for!

Next, it tells me my Wii age is 31…Did you read that Lisa…31! WoooHoooo! I am 31 and loving this Wii thing. Little victory dance in order…

Until it gives me my ideal weight which recommends a 10 pound weight loss. WHAT???!!! &*%$#$%^^&&*

I just spent the last six months dutifully counting calories, exercising regularly, and completely changing my diet. I have slowly, painfully watched the scale drop. A pound a week…then a half a pound…then a quarter…brutally slow. I thought I was almost there, or at least ready to call it quits and try out maintainance for a while…BUT now this thing tells me that I am not even close??? I lost 27 pounds and I still have 10 more to go? It might as well tell me I have 100. Never mind what I said about this crazy contraption. I don’t like it anymore.